Senior People - Children Relationships

2008-11-21T17:40:00.000-08:00

What is the responsiblilty of youngsters towards the elders?

As parents, the elders have given their children their life, educated them and most often enabled them to earn a decent living. Whatever maybe the social problem, youngsters must realize that they should care for their parents and the other elders in the family.

Is the joint-family system better than living seperately?
There is no doubt that the joint-family system has many advantages such as the experience of the elders, their time & effort in taking care of the children or looking after the household and their advice when the youngsters are at fault. The elders themselves are no doubt benefitted as they are not left alone. This contributes to their mental and physical well-being. Also, in times of sickness and need, the younger generation will be there to care for them. Grandparents and grandchildren have a special bonding that enriches the lives of each other.
But it cannot be denied that when certain social and family circumstances act as a barrier against the joint family system, then it is better that the elders and youngsters live seperately. This way the relationship is still cordial and not spoiled by staying together. But efforts should be made to meet each other, with the children in the family, and talk to one another as often as possible.

What should be the attitude of the younger generation towards the elders?
First of all, the younger generation should learn to respect the elders and their experience. They should understand their feelings and sentiments and care for the elders. Sometimes, the wisdom and experience of the elders may be invaluable in solving their own problems.
It is not enough for the youngsters merely to provide for the elders. It is more important to show them affection and respect. Domestic problems could be discussed with the elders. It is not necessary to always accept what they say, but the elders feel wanted and respected. This prevents a conflict between them and the youngsters.
One should always remember that the wheel of life is constantly turning and the youngsters themselves will have to one day depend on the next generation.
It is said in the vedas that devotion to elders is like devotion to God.

What should be the attitude of the older generation towards the youngsters?
Elders should first of all make an effort to understand the socio-economic conditions, careers and family of their children. They should try to adjust and not interfere in the day to day affairs and problems of their children's family. Unless asked, they should patiently refrain from giving advice. They should not compare the attitude of the youngsters of today with their own attitude when they were young.
They could try to assist in the day to day affairs of the family, like taking the grandchildren to school, doing the bank work or paying the bills. Interaction with the grandchildren most often refreshes the minds of the elders and infact delays the ageing process.
Though some people prefer to be left alone, solitude is one of the main problems for elders.

Elder Parents -Careers

2008-11-21T17:18:00.000-08:00

Why is a Career important for the Elderly Indian?
The resources in India, both from the government and the private sectors is very limited to provide the Senior Indian Citizen many basic benefits like health care, food, housing and insurance.
Many children of this generation are sadly neglecting the needs of their parents. Infact the joint family system has broken down leading the youngsters to stay away from their parents most often letting the elders fend for themselves.
Many of the retired Indians have invariably borrowed heavily on their retirement funds to conduct their daughter's marriage or for some such expense. Invariably they are not able to pay this back.
For all these reasons it is upto the elderly to find a definite source of income for themselves. And what better way to do it than find a comfortable job?
But a career is not for economic reasons alone. It keeps the elderly physically and mentally occupied, and in turn helps them to lead an active life. It also increases their self confidence and esteem. So even those who are financially comfortable can decide to take up a career and enjoy the benefits of healthy living.

What if the Senior Citizen wants to lead a quiet life and not take up a job?
While a "quiet life" may seem an excellent idea for people who have worked all their lives, most of the elders cannot remain idle and sit back after a while.
Moreover, the invaluable benefit of being in good health by keeping the body and mind busy, cannot be over emphasized.
So, to work or not is an individual decision that will have to be taken depending on one's own desire. The work need not necessarily be a paid job. It could even be voluntary service or work rendered by a neighbourhood association. One could teach music or take cookery classes.
There is no doubt that a person who is active is sound in body and mind.
But the jobs open to most elders are limited!
This is unfortunately true. It is for the society to recognise this and make available more jobs for the elderly. It is not enough to just consider an elderly person for a job, but to actively work towards creating jobs for the elders. The Central and State Governments should look at this growing elderly population and make available those kind of jobs that Senior Citizens can handle comfortably. It is the humble request of SeniorIndian.com to people in position and power to consider this seriously.

What does the elderly person have to do to increase the chances of being comfortably employed?
With age comes the ability to shut out all that is new. This should be avoided. The computer for instance is a powerful tool. It has become very user friendly- that is anyone with a bit of practice can learn to operate the computer to do many tasks like send and receive e-mails, or enter day to day accounts. This may seem difficult, but is quiet easy as one learns.
It is also important to give attention to personal hygeine. There is a lot of difference between a shabby elderly person and a smart elder.
One should learn to adjust with society and accept some limitations. The job offered may not always be exactly of the same status as when one was younger. But it is the dignity of work that matters.
Interviews - Some important points to remember.

* The interview is meant to find out what the employers need from you and what you can offer to do for them. So be prepared to tell them what you can do.
* Do not bore them with all your life stories from pre-independence days. An interview should be a dialogue. Encourage them to tell you what they expect from you.
* Tell them about your most important personal achievements or where you worked and any salient points.
* Get your Curriculum Vitae ready. At your age you may have a lot to write about, so decide what are the most important among them.
* You may be asked why you resigned or why you wish to take up a second job. If you have lost your previous job, or are looking for a new job because you need the money badly, remember that these are normal things that happen to everyone. Remember to be prepared to give a good reason why you need the job, instead of pouring out your personal problems.
* You have to adjust with the younger work force or management. There may be an age divide, but let that not come in the way of your relationship.
* Take the advice of others whom you feel maybe in a position to tell you what an employer expects.
* Take the advice from your sons/ex collegues about the plan for preparation of interviews. May be you might get some beautifull/intelligent idea that might work for your success.

Old Age People - Senior Citizens

Senior People - Children Relationships

Elder Parents -Careers